Intertype Relationship: Contrary

General Description of Contrary Relations

Contrary relations are also known as relations of extinguishment. The two partners of such relation have the same strong traits and the same weak traits, with the same accepting/producing order, but with opposite introvert/extrovert values. For example, an ILE and an ILI would produce an extinguishment relation. As a non-identical symmetrical relation, it produces 8 pairs each on the socion, in comparison to non-symmetrical relations, which produce 4 rings of 4 IM types on the socion. The 8 pairings are bi-directional, so they can be expanded conceptually to make 16 total.

Relations of extinguishment are characterized by an interest in the same kinds of things, but partners approach it in a fundamentally different and often incomprehensible way. Many people note a certain draw in these relations, as if the other person possessed some dual-like qualities, but never materializes into a dual. This possibly occurs because at first contact individuals are likely to act through their Super-Ego functions, which is received positively by the other person. In trying to close the distance and get to know the other person closely, partners are very often frustrated and thwarted in their attempts by the other person's unexpected and out-of-sync reactions. Partners in these relations find it very hard to maintain an organized and stable relationship, due to the promising, yet continually frustrating interpersonal dynamic.

Where these relations can become especially unstable is in the case of a third person/party being involved in the relation. What happens is both Contrary partners attempt to exude their strong sides, which are in opposition to each others' strengths. In many cases the introvert partner becomes cautious and distant in formal interaction, whereas the extrovert partner becomes especially vulnerable, taking careful notice of his/her own actions, and thus becoming highly suspicious about the entire relation. This disoriented sense of communication tends to build more and more as Contrary partners continue to interact together.

Romance Styles
Model A
Information Elements
Intertype Relationships